A while ago I had an one - on one chat with my manager. During which I realized this: “I behave the way I do in order to build pressure upon myself to work hard”

I have never been a hard working student. Since as long as I can remember I have been a practitioner of th “skippertak” (an English equivalent would be somethi like to pull all nighters as a general rule of working). If there isn’t an immediate thing that needs resolving I will drag my feet and do all sorts of other things. However when things are getting down to the wire, I will snap out if it and get whatever needs to be done completed.

I realized during the chat that this is why I act the way I do in my professional life. “If you didn’t deliver and live up to your talk, you’d just be another loud mouth who bitch and moan”, my manager said. And I think this is exactly why I behave the way I do professionally, it puts pressure on me to deliver the goods and prove I am not just a loud mouth asshole (of course I believe many still perceive me as one, but that’s just life).
Unfortunately this is done in a way which to some can be annoying, and that I can fully understand, but it is what I need I think…